Trust

A few weeks ago I lead the Fear to Faith Process for some teenaged girls. One of the great things about this process is that everyone can be working on their own issue and no one else needs to know the issue being worked on --- not even the facilitator. The participants may choose to share their issue, but there is no expectation that they do so.

As I was guiding the young women through the process I decided I would take the opportunity to apply it to myself. The issue I chose to address was the anxiety I was feeling about the upcoming listing of my business in the Crazy Wisdom Community Journal. I took notes as we went along and when the process was complete the word “Trust” was my keyword.

I confess that I put my piece of paper who-knows-where and essentially forgot all about it. Until yesterday when I was doing another technique that took me to the concept of Trust around a different issue. Of course, not remembering the earlier Fear to Faith process, I thought this was new! Immediately afterward I found the paper with my notes and I was surprised to see Trust as my keyword.

It seems that whenever I am developing myself in a given area, I get the same message or reminder or lesson from many different places. No matter how many times I have experienced this, I am still amazed.

Affirmation

When Barnaby and I moved to FryFarm in February, there was a painting of a sleeping child hanging in our bedroom. It is a beautiful image and reminds me of summers in Northern Michigan. The fact that I like the painting made it harder for me to accept that it seemed out of place in our bedroom.

During this time there was also a painting resting on the steep steps of the stairs that lead to our bedroom. Because of its position, I hardly ever noticed the painting even though I walked by it several times each day. Months went by. Barnaby and I made our vision board which contains many images of flowing water. And still I failed to notice the waterfall painting on the staircase.

One day we were inspired to clear the stairwell. I picked up the waterfall painting and walked it up the stairs. I took the sleeping child and moved it to the guest room where it seemed to belong. In its place I hanged the waterfall painting. Everything clicked. It was perfect.

Now each morning I awake to the picture of a waterfall --- powerful and flowing. I am reminded that everything around us is an affirmation of something and we are at choice as to what we affirm. So I am more careful about the things that surround me. Right now this waterfall is the perfect affirmation for me. I am grateful for the painting and the space to place it.

Waitress Mediation

The other day I was driving to Charlevoix to meet with my business advisor. As I drove into town, I turned my head toward the water looking for the Parkside Restaurant, which I knew was no longer standing. If you want to know what it looked like see Parkside Restaurant by Sue Bolt.

I felt a strange sense as I recalled the years of working there, first as a salad girl, then a hostess and finally a waitress.

During my time at the Parkside I mediated many disputes. The most common conflict was between the teenagers sitting at the table with music blaring through their headphones and the parents who wanted them to participate in the family dining experience.

Somehow, I understood both sides and I naturally asserted myself into these conflicts. Perhaps my most daring act involved a quiet fight between two sisters. One of the sisters left the table, went outside and sat on a bench crying. When the time was right I sat down and talked with her. Then I returned to the dining table and spoke with the other sister. The details are hazy now, but eventually I brought the sisters together and they met with hugs and tears.

Even as a little girl I found myself acting as an intermediary, especially in the times when my parents were married but lived separately. Now, as I “begin” my career practicing heart-based conflict resolution, I realize that I have been doing this my whole life. In my childhood, in those moments when no one was looking, I was doing something I had never even heard of.

The beauty of children is that they can be at their very best when they are simply being themselves. I reclaim this gift now and am grateful for the opportunities I have to truly be myself.

Summer of Self Care

Photo by Brent Sherman

This week we have 15 family members staying in the summer cottage. Given the demands of a wedding and rehearsal dinner which are both taking place at our house, and the number of people under one roof, it is especially important that we take care of ourselves.

Self Care is a hot topic right now. When I was in Chicago for the Celebrate Your Life Conference I watched people swarm around Cheryl Richardson to talk about her new book “The Art of Extreme Self Care.” At the time I didn’t see the attraction to her work, especially since Barnaby and I are not caretakers to children or anyone else and because we have been focused on Self Care for the past several months. However, now that I am around the busyness of my family I am reminded how important Self Care is. For me, Self Care means going for a walk, stretching, meditating and talking with my prayer partners. It also means drinking more water and less alcohol, which, in this social environment, takes a conscious effort.

I have decided that Summer of ’09 at the Gerrity Cottage is the Summer of Self Care. I am giving out “gold stars” when we demonstrate a self loving act, such as my mom lying down for a rest, my niece doing her journal, my brothers going to play golf, etc. And even though I want Barnaby to be hanging out with me on the deck talking ‘til all hours of the night with the folks on “The Ridge” (as we call our little neighborhood on the lake), I am happy to see him go to bed early when he needs to.

Self Care requires listening to what I need and acting upon it. Sometimes it can be a challenge to carve out the time and space to listen, but I am always happier when I do and I am grateful for the support I receive in taking care of myself.